Clarity
by greysgilmoregossip
Summary: Addison returns from LA in Season 4, to find Meredith and Derek broken up and at odds with each other. Will she be able to open Derek's eyes to who she knows he should be with? Or has Meredith let him get away?


**One Shot, leading into the season 4 finale.**

"You broke up with Meredith Grey. You and Meredith Grey are broken up. Derek, what are you doing?"

Addison walked fast to keep up with her ex husband's focused quick pace.

"Addie, it just- didn't work out. She didn't want what I wanted, she never trusted me."

Addison laughed. "Oh, so it was all because she couldn't trust you? Derek, you were dated her for two months without telling her you were married. To ME. I'm surprised she could even trust you at all after that, even as a coworker," Addison watched as Derek tried to dodge around corners to end the conversation, but she wouldn't let him.

"It was more than that. She was never going to trust me, or see me as someone she could depend on, not like Cristina or her friends."

"Because you've never let her down in the past? Derek, she's trying to cope with the fact that you expect her to pine after you when you don't feel like being with her, and then pick up and move 100 miles an hour once you change your mind."

He shook his head and scoffed. She ignored him, and continued.

"You've always wanted this, you've always liked to have all the control. And as soon as you suspect someone else might be able to-"

She cut in front of him, to physically stop him from ignoring her. He sighed, and looked up at the ceiling.

"Derek. We were married for 11 years, that's over a decade of your life, of my life. I'm not going to watch you single handedly ruin yours. Because Derek, I finally got mine right, and it's pretty great." He finally made eye contact with her, seeing her genuine concern. It was a friendly concern.

"Just, don't give up on her." She took a step closer to him.

"I didn't throw all those tantrums and scenes for nothing, did I?" She said softly, sharply. This earned her a smile from Derek.

"I love her. I do."

"Then tell her," Addison's pager suddenly went off. "Go!" She shouted over her shoulder.

And he listened.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Meredith."

He leaned on the CT scan room doorway. He watched as it took her a moment to remove her eyes from the scans illuminated.

"Derek, hi. I was just looking at the scans from the last trial patient. You know, I think the virus actually tends to almost attack itself, which causes an alternate but equally powerful reaction in the spinal fluid. So I think that maybe-" She noticed he was still leaning, looking at her. Looking at her like he had, like he secretly did now.

"What's wrong?" She watched as he crossed over, and stood to face her.

"Meredith, I tried. But I can't do this anymore." She frowned.

"Derek, we will get this right. It may take a while, but I think the virus-"

"No, no, it's not the trial."

"Then what is it?"

He sighed. He looked into her eyes.

"Meredith. I can't work with you and not be with you. It's too much. I'm exhausted, I can't- I can't keep hiding what I feel, what I know you feel."

He watched as her eyes shifted. His words had struck a nerve.

"So what are you saying?' She stared back at him.

"I'm saying- what I'm saying is, it's all or nothing."

"All or nothing?"

"It's together or nothing. I can't do this, I can't pretend and go back to the way things were, when Addison came."

He brought a tentative hand to her cheek.

"Meredith, I love you, and I will never stop loving you, and I know somewhere deep down, you want us to work." He watched as her eyes began to fill, but she didn't break her stare into his eyes.

"And I want to try again. I do. I want us to end up together. But I don't know if you do. So I'm saying, it's everything, or nothing. Because if you don't see anything more for us, I have to go."

She couldn't breathe. His hand felt like electricity on her skin, just that little contact. She tried to form an answer. His hand remained, coaxing her. But nothing came.

He slowly brought his hand down. He cleared his throat. He turned around, reached the doorway again.

"What if I want to try again?" He stopped. She was standing frozen, to his back.

"What if I do want to try again? But what if I'm still me? What if I'm still me, and I still want to run sometimes, and I still have trouble letting you in?"

He listened to her breathing quicken behind him. He turned to face her.

"Then we try. And we see how it goes."

"Okay. We'll try." She searched his eyes, looking for any uncertainty, but all she found was warmth.

They stood, parallel to each other, for what seemed like hours.

Suddenly, in a second, he had rushed to her. His hand rested on her jawline, pulling her lips up to touch his own. It felt right. It felt like they had never stopped, that they had been together for hundred of years, forever.

And maybe, they would be.


End file.
